Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Easy Rider - End of the Road

"We blew it" says Wyatt. Our protagonist's search for spiritual freedom was a complete failure. The next morning as Billy and Wyatt continue their journey, two hillbillies with nothing better to do decide to "scare the hell out of them." As they pull alongside Billy with their pickup truck, one of the hillbillies points a loaded shotgun at him while yelling out classic lines like "Why don't you get a haircut?" Billy responds with the old "New Jersey greeting", but this hillbilly doesn't take too kindly to obscene gestures, so he fires the shotgun at Billy who immediately hits the pavement. Wyatt stops to help Billy, then quickly jumps back on his bike to go get help. Well, of course the two good ol' boys in the pickup turn around and come back - can't have any witnesses, ya know - and blast Wyatt and his motorcycle off the road. The bike explodes and the movie ends with a continuous shot of the wreckage while the camera ascends to the sky. The journey is over as Billy and Wyatt finally find the freedom they were looking for.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Under Siege - Eye Gouge, Head Stab

Ah, the 90's....when beepers were cool and Steven Seagal movies were...well NOT direct-to-video. The guy hasn't had a worldwide theatrical release since...*GULP*..Half Past Dead in 2002, although he will have a role in the upcoming film Machete, as a drug lord named Torrez. You might not be able to name any of his newer Straight-to-Video films, but there's a reason we liked Steven Seagal movies so long ago....

Try Under Siege for example. In the finale, Casey Ryback(Steven Seagal) and Bill Strannix(Tommy Lee Jones) go head-to-head in a nicely choreographed knife fight to the death. In the struggle, Ryback snatches Strannix's knife away with his teeth then uses his thumb to push Strannix's eyeball back into his brain. As Strannix moans in pain, Ryback stabs the knife into the top of Strannix's skull up to the handle, killing him instantly. Then just for good measure, Ryback smashes Strannix's head into a computer monitor.....THAT my friends, is a patented Steven Seagal movie kill. You know those scenes where it looks like the bad guy is dead, but then he gets back up for one more shot? You don't see any of those in Seagal flicks.

But what happened to Seagal? What's the difference between old Seagal movies and new Seagal movies? Well, other than about 100 pounds. Two words....EYE GOUGE. Screwface in Marked for Death, Strannix in Under Siege, the guy hasn't had a good eye gouge in almost 20 years. Just Sayin'

Thursday, June 24, 2010

New Predators Red-Band Trailer

In case you weren't exited about the new Predators movie yet, be excited. This movie has nothing to do with those shitty Alien vs. Predator films. The new film will be closer in tone to the original Predator and even contain subtle nods towards the first film. The new Red-Band Trailer gives us a glimpse of what we might expect in the movie death department. Can you say "spine rip"?

Robert Rodriguez gives us a behind-the-scenes preview of the new film

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope - Porkins Goes Down

Oh that George Lucas, the fattest human in the Star Wars galaxy and he names him Porkins. Jek Porkins to be exact, aka "Belly Runner" aka "Piggy." Damn it Porkins! Why couldn't you just pull up? Was it because you were so fat? Are we led to believe your enormous ass brought down that X-wing? That if you lost a couple of pounds before the Battle of Yavin, you would still be alive? Well it wouldn't have hurt, but unfortunately no. According to Wookieepedia he was unable to judge his altitude because his instruments were malfunctioning from an earlier explosion. NOT because of his weight. R.I.P. Jek Porkins. The man gave his life for the rebellion and we will always remember him by those last words.....

"No, I'm All ri...DDDAAAAHHHHHHH!"

Sunday, June 20, 2010

The Long Kiss Goodnight - Movie Death Explosion!

I'm a sucker for explosions, particularly giant-movie-ending-villain-killing explosions. Take The Long Kiss Goodnight for example, they do it right. Here's how:

1. Keep him alive - A classic rule. Before the big explosion, the villain must be on the brink of death. Shot, Beaten, bloody, but still alive.....barely. Keep the bad guy alive just long enough for that timer to hit zero.....otherwise what's the point?

2. Show it - When the climactic explosion goes off and the villain dies, I don't just want to see the explosion in the background as the hero runs away. No, I want to see the bad guy being engulfed by flames or exploding into pieces, no off-screen cheapness.

3. Outrun the fireball - Laws of physics? Pffft... not in this house. Another classic rule where the Hero must outrun the final explosion in a fashionable and death-defying way. The explosion must be the biggest of the film, flaming projectiles are optional.

All these rules are covered above and beyond in The Long Kiss Goodnight. The scene involves a truck bomb that is supposed to blow up the bridge at Niagara Falls. As Charly(Geena Davis) is attacked by the bad guy from a helicopter, she uses a dead body as a counterweight to lift herself into the sky and shoot him. He falls and lands on top of the truck bomb.....and the fun begins.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Jaws - “Smile, You Son of a Bitch!”

Here at Greatest Movie Deaths, we like to keep it to death scenes of humans or humanoids, but this one is just too good to ignore. A classic. The death of Jaws, well the first Jaws at least, the original Jaws.

In the film's finale, Brody(Roy Scheider) is the only one left to do battle with the giant monster. He climbs the mast of the sinking vessel with Quint's gun(R.I.P.) and aims for the pressurized air tank wedged in the shark's mouth. He fires shot after shot at the oncoming shark, but misses. Just as he takes his last shot he yells out, “Smile, You Son of a Bitch!” and hits the target. The oxygen canister explodes, destroying the shark and sending a geyser of blood and fish guts flying into the air.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Predators - Trailer

Robert Rodriguez, Laurence Fishburne, Adrien Brody, and Danny Trejo? This movie just might save the franchise from mediocrity. Robert Rodriguez named the film "Predators" in relation to how the second film in the Alien franchise was called Aliens. It looks like they're trying to recreate what worked so well in the original: Great characters, cool weapons, and an awesome monster. This is the sequel we have all been waiting for.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Kick Ass - Car Crusher

This scene is straight from the awesome comic by Mark Millar. Our heroes interrogate Cody(Dexter Fletcher), one of Frank D'Amico goons, as he's handcuffed to the steering wheel of a car. No big deal, right? Well, the car happens to be inside an industrial size car crusher. After Cody spills his guts, Hit-Girl hits the switch to start the machine. Our victim starts to panic as the automobile is compressed from both sides by large hydraulically-powered plates. The car is crushed and Cody explodes, splattering blood across the windshield. Finally, the machine expels a cube of metal and plastic that was once our friend Cody and Hit-Girl tells us her true feelings about him.