Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope - Porkins Goes Down

Oh that George Lucas, the fattest human in the Star Wars galaxy and he names him Porkins. Jek Porkins to be exact, aka "Belly Runner" aka "Piggy." Damn it Porkins! Why couldn't you just pull up? Was it because you were so fat? Are we led to believe your enormous ass brought down that X-wing? That if you lost a couple of pounds before the Battle of Yavin, you would still be alive? Well it wouldn't have hurt, but unfortunately no. According to Wookieepedia he was unable to judge his altitude because his instruments were malfunctioning from an earlier explosion. NOT because of his weight. R.I.P. Jek Porkins. The man gave his life for the rebellion and we will always remember him by those last words.....

"No, I'm All ri...DDDAAAAHHHHHHH!"

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